Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
