you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
