im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize