Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
