I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
