We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Randomize
