I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
