she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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