Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
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