oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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