There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I want her autograph on my taint
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
