I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Randomize
