i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
