i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
