six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
