So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
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