We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Randomize
