and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
