honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Randomize