Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
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