Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
