Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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