OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
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I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
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This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
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