I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
