being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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