yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Just invented taco cereal.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
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