She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
