Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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