i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize