this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
