i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
