ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Randomize
