3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
You can't special order awesome
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize