It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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