I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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