So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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