speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
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