Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
