I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Randomize
