If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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