Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
