I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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