So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
