so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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