I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
