big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Randomize
