Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Someone signed my nipple.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
