and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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