1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
you made out with another girl for some wings
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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