Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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