there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
