I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!