I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.