I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
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