isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
27 Drunk People That Pissed Off The Cops And Got What They Deserved
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil