Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(818): View more from California

Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?

(770): View more from Georgia

I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.

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(805): View more from California

My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.

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(641): View more from Iowa

Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.

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(716): View more from New York

I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(708): View more from Illinois

Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.

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(760): View more from California

I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?

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(586): View more from Michigan

Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"

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(309): View more from Illinois

I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON

(309): View more from Illinois

THE MOOOOOOOON

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(631): View more from New York

Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?

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