none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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