nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
