morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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