So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
