I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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