try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
