tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
