Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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