It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
