Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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