I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
