I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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