Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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