You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
